June 26 2020
Dishes dishes dishes. I need a dishwasher that actually works.
We have a roommate who is living here. He’s leaving on Sunday morning. He has no animal name. I’m not sure why I never mentioned him aside from like one other post in the past week.
I recently found out from my wife that he sort of felt bad because he and I never connected. Which is true. I’m not really sure how to feel about it though. Like, we never really chatted much, he made a much stronger connection with Bat, considering he’s her coworker. But now, in the last week, I find out that he wanted to make more of a connection, which, oof. He’s leaving in three days. It’s a little late to try to build a decent friendship now.
In any case, this has made me realize that literally the entire past few months, I’ve dedicated a significant portion of my time establishing a connection of sorts with Dobie. Which is fucking tough for me. I have trouble multitasking in that sense. I’ve come to realize that I have trouble making friends because I tend to put all of my eggs in one basket. Like, okay, so, I’ve been hanging on Discord with a small group of people, but I’d be lying if I said my focus was equally spread between all of them. When I joined CNCNZ (old gaming website) years ago, I was almost exclusively friends with this one guy who I enjoyed gaming with. I met dozens of people, but I only made friends with the one.
I then left them and joined another website, and despite hanging out with another several dozen people, I only connected with one of them.
Back to the present. In some ways I feel like it was either I’d connect with this roommate or I’d connect with Dobie, since I was sort of getting to know them at the same time. Whelp. Dobie won. The irony is we specifically scheduled her visit for a time when Roommate would be gone.
Strap in, folks. Here’s a long one. It has been a long time since I’ve written a story from scratch, so forgive my rusty writing style. This is Part 1.
“There once was a knight named Leon.
He was hardly a gallant, with the strenght of a peon.
Not born for adventure, had no prowess or might.
Fell in love with a dragon who he first meant to fight.”
So there I was. Adventure after adventure, I found myself walking down the road, headed to the castle of Krendâr. It was finally my time. I’d been an adventurer for long enough, and I felt I’d gained enough experience to perform the final task of every true warrior. I had to slay a dragon, rescue a princess, claim the gold, and be crowned King of all the land before me. I mean, classic knight story, right? So here I was, walking from town to town, and if I was lucky, I was able to speed things up by hitching a ride on a local carriage service.
And there it was, finally, after what felt like an eternity of travel. The castle of Krendâr. Though, I had to be honest. From the paintings I’d seen, the wanted posters I passed on my journey, and just hearing general word of mouth, I was pretty underwhelmed. This place looked big, sure, but it wasn’t the huge fuckoff fortress I was expecting. I wasn’t even sure how a dragon was supposed to live in this place. I mean, what, do they crawl around in there, just kind of poking their head into different rooms?
Anyway, so, I take a few steps forward. I notice that the stoney path was quickly replaced by bricks, and sure enough, almost as if on cue, I hear a dragon screech from far away. Looking up, I can see it circling. The dragon spits a plume of smokey fire, and like a harrier diving for prey, the dragon just fucking drops from the sky in like half a second, slamming into the ground not 20 feet in front of me. I felt myself losing my footing as dust and rock kicked up all around me.
“Hear me, fair knight! I have defeated many before you, and no sooner will you unsheath your sword will I turn you into a pile of molten armor and fleshy dust.” The dragon stood there, motionless aside for it’s extremely subtle breathing, appearing fierce, but calm.
I was frozen, this wasn’t just some dragon. This was… holy shit. She was gorgeous. I mean, her scales, her posture, her display of strength. Whatever idea I had in mind to defeat this dragon was just gone, left behind, somewhere on the path back there.
“Of course, another human who thinks they’re so brave until I scare them into submission. You can’t even move. How pathetic. Do you have anything to say, or should I just finish you off?”
I opened my mouth, just enough to let the words sort of fall out. “You… you’re hot.”
The poor dragon was baffled. Startled, even. It was as if whatever speech she had prepared, whatever action she was ready to take on every pitiful knight, all she had planned and expected from this encounter, was completely derailed. She was not in any way ready for this.
“I’m what?” She asked, taken aback. “You think I’m… hot?” I could see a change, both in the dragon’s face and her scales. A certain redness was flushing her face. Her tough armored front arms appeared to soften. I could swear they were almost trembling.
I took a quiet breath, and began moving slowly and deliberately, all while maintaining eye contact. As I moved my hands down to my sword, I could see a slight snarl forming as this dragon’s eyes followed my every motion. After adjusting a clasp to my right, my scabbard, my only defense, dropped to the ground. I took a step forward, awe struck. “You’re beautiful,” I said. “Please, do with me what you must… But let me just… look at you, first.”
The dragon sat there, at this point completely bewildered. “Wait, is this some kind of trick?” she asked, stepping back, looking around. “What kind of play is this? This is a distraction, where are the others?”
“No tricks,” I said. “I will confess I came here to defeat you and rescue the princess and claim the gold, but that is all meaningless to me now. I can see with my short time left that you are the true reward, the true gem at the end of this journey.”
The dragon sat there for a second, staring at me. Tilting her head sideways, almost like a dog, curious about a strange sound.
“Seriously?” She asked. “You’re… you’re serious, you’re not kidding, are you.”
“I don’t think I could ever be more serious,” I said. “You are the most beautiful thing I have laid my eyes on.” The dragon appeared to grow somewhat annoyed, as if I was no longer a threat, but more of a bothersome impediment to her otherwise occupied time spent flying around.
“What the fuck is this?” She said. “I mean, who are you?”
“I’m Leon!” I said, standing tall and proud, though, admittedly, a little bit nervous. “I am a brave knight!”
“You’re a knight, huh?” The dragon wasn’t impressed. “Where’s your horse?”
“Well, uhh… I don’t actually have a horse…”
“So, you’re not a knight.”
I felt deflated but I wasn’t giving up. “I’m more of a warrior, really, honest!”
The dragon sighed. “You’re barely wearing any armor, come on, quit dicking me around.”
I frowned and sort of kicked my feet a little bit. “I mean, I’m an adventurer, right? I came here on an important mission-”
“Are you asking me?” The dragon interjected. “Come on, you’re not cut out for this. Just take your sword and get out of here, I won’t hurt you, you’re not ready for all of this.”
Disappointed, I huffed and began to gather my things. The dragon didn’t even seem alarmed as I picked up my sword and clipped it back to my side, and as I was set to leave, she spread her wings out and prepared to take off.
“Would you like to go on a date?” I asked. As if she wasn’t thrown off before, this seriously caught the dragon off-guard. Halfway into leaping, she was so bewildered that she ate shit while trying to take-off. I cringed, watching her collect herself from the ground.
“Would I what?” Her eyes were wide. “Go on a date? Are you kidding? Why would you think I’d want to go on a date with you?”
“Well, you seem so lonely out here just doing nothing but guarding a princess, especially if the only people who ever show up here are either trying to kill you or steal your gold.”
“That’s what you were here for!” The dragon retorted, angrily. “You just wanted to rescue my princess! What makes you any different?”
“Okay, seriously, I’m past that. I don’t even know what the princess looks like.” I pleaded my case. “I don’t care about the princess or your gold, it’s just that… well the second I laid my eyes on you, I…” I took a breath. “I’m sorry, I’m just awestruck.”
My words seemed to disarm the dragon a bit. She took a breath, sat down, and closed her eyes for a moment. I feel like she was really trying to figure this out in her mind. After what felt like forever, she finally spoke.
“Look, I’m incredibly flattered, I’m not going to lie. But I can’t date you. Where would we go? I can’t just… I mean, this is ridiculous, you’re a hare, I’m a dragon, and I have my castle duties, I just…”
I felt my courage returning, as I stood tall and tried to reason with her. “Look, how about just one date? Just one. No pressure, you just take a break for one meal, we can just relax somewhere, and just talk. Sound good?”
“Humph.” The dragon stood and turned around. “Just one date.” She spread her wings and flew away.
((Part 2 will come sometime later))
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