108th

MAY 31 2020

Today is my 108th Hundred-Day.

For about ~10 years now, I have been noting every 100 days I’ve been alive. I haven’t paid attention every time, sometimes I outright forget to even check up on it, but generally speaking, it’s something I’ve been doing. I feel it’s really easy to lose sight of things if you track by the year, because a lot can happen over a year, and past events can really fade into and out of memory really easily.

So, I spend my Hundred-Day recognizing what I spent the last hundred days doing, and taking time to focus on what I should do with my next hundred days.

Past Hundred Days

So over the past hundred days, a fair amount has been accomplished. Some of the highlights include:
-Refinancing our house
-Searching for land
-Finding land
-Making an offer on Land
-Meeting new friends
-Buying a ticket to fly a friend out here.

A notable hardship has of course included this whole Coronavirus thing. The lockdown officially started here on Day 27, which turned into a whole thing in and of itself. Having to completely adjust my life around to deal with all of the ramifications of a global quarantine has certainly been challenging and emotionally draining.

Next Hundred Days

Some major milestones that I should be hitting early on is:
-Closing on the land
-Friend showing up
-Planting Fruit Trees
-Officially starting on homesteading project

Some unpredictable events may include:
-Financial instability
-Family Squabbling
-“Add Sim to Household” type shit.

Addendum

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Sunflowers

MAY 30 2020

Passing Time

I hate when you’re just waiting for a really good thing to happen, but you know you have to, well, wait for it to actually happen. It’s just 44 days away but I just have to sit here and accept it. Thankfully, I have been really busy so I have no shortage of time. Ugh.

Property Closing

So an adjustment was made to the closing date. It’s now going to be this Wednesday. Still stoked! We’re already planning what we’re going to do with the land, a lot of digging at first, tarping, cleaning, fixing leaks in the living space we’ll have, stuff like that. But we’re definitely excited. We have to make the place nice and habitable if we plan on bringing a friend over, so we’ll be doing just that for the five weekends that we have until she visits.

There’s a lot of potential for the land. I really look forward to taking and posting pictures in a week when we’ve thoroughly explored the place. I can’t wait!

Story Time

When I was in elementary school, I found a girly pen in the grass after a girl’s soccer game. Assuming it belonged to some cute girl, I treasured it. I took this pen everywhere. It was a purple pen with a curvy clip, and it was just so special to me. I don’t even know who it would have belonged to, and really, it was just a pen. It could have belonged to someone’s mom, or even some dude. But that pen was like a gift given to me from the girls themselves.

One day I lost it. I was sad. I really missed that pen.

Yeah, that was a dumb story. Thanks for reading.

Addendum

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Feels So Good

MAY 23 2020

I have been listening to Feels So Good on loop for hours now. And let me tell you, it feels so good. Also, I felt pretty productive today. I’m feeling like I really want to try to get a post written every day, or at the very least, every other day. It feels good to actually write something down, even if it’s just meaningless thoughts about the current time in my life.

Visitors

So right now there’s oh, 51 days until our new friend comes out and visits us here. Hopefully everything goes smoothly, though for obvious reasons, there’s a number of potential barriers to get in the way.

Really, the biggest one is the fact that the whole Coronavirus thing means that it’s impossible to know if flights will actually happen or if they’ll be cancelled by the time she plans on visiting. It’s a pretty significant point of worry for me, truth be told. The irony of it all is the fact that, without Covid-19, we very well may not have met in the first place, considering the significant impact it has had on employment and people’s time spent on the internet.

But to think that the Coronavirus could also theoretically fuck up the one good thing it created out of all of this is, in a few words, nerve-wracking. It’s ironic, sure, but damn.

Story Time

I figured I’d start writing stories about my life for the sake of documenting them somewhere. So here we go.

When I was in the third grade, I had a friend named John. He was by far, my absolute best friend. We got into all kinds of stupid shenanigans. Well, at least, as stupid as you can get when you’re in the third grade. I mean come on, that’s the age when you’re playing with toy cars and hoping you’re lucky enough to find a quarter on the ground.

Now John, one day, showed me something really neat. He pointed out that, along the fence, where all of these flower bushes were right outside school property, there were bees. Tons of bees. And were we scared of the bees? Of course not, those little buzzy fuzzy insects were the most polite little honey bees you could ever meet. So much so that it turns out, oh shit, we could touch them, and nothing would happen. They wouldn’t sting, they would just fly on their merry way.

So, of course, as time progressed, and we had gotten so used to touching the bees, we naturally started getting more daring. One day, John realized that he could actually catch the bees, and it was really fucking cool. It turns out that as long as you’re gentle, and you don’t actually squeeze the bee, you can calmly catch them and they’ll just walk around in your cupped hands searching for a way out, without really succeeding or getting upset.

Naturally, we used our newfound powers for evil instead of good. We would run up to random other kids and just release the bees, which would in turn fly out and, well, do nothing. But of course it freaked the other third graders out. After all, we were carrying goddamn bees in our hands, what the fuck! Just a bit of harmless fun, in any case, and we never really got in trouble for it or anything, cause whatever, the bees were fine, we weren’t getting other kids stung, all good, right?

Well, one day, I made a crucial mistake. I cupped around a bee right when it was taking off. So, instead of catching it in the palms of my cupped hands, it was caught between my right index finger and my left thumb. It felt it was in danger, so of course, it stabbed me with it’s butt hook. And, well, that was it. I uncupped my hands, tossed the bee away, and freaked out as I screamed in pain all the way to the other side of the school where the school nurse (who was used to seeing me over stupid bullshit) was easily able to pry the venom sack out, after which she promptly told me to stop being an idiot.

Addendum

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Bunny

MAY 22 2020

I feel better. No more feeling like something crawled up my ass in the middle of the night and made me sick.

Bunnies

So yesterday, I wrote a whole bunch of things and stuff but really, that wasn’t everything. Another thing we recently did is we went out and got bunnies! We currently have 4 California rabbits, and we’ve named them after characters from Hocus Pocus (the movie).

So we have Sarah, Mary, Winifred, and Satan.

Now if I’m to be quite honest, we’re going to be raising them to breed meat rabbits, which sounds counterintuitive to the kind of person I am considering I have a strong interest in rabbits as a whole, but, well, as a farmer-to-be, this is the kind of stuff I’m getting into.

New Character!

Here’s a new character I’ve been working on. I don’t know if she’s quite complete but this is her so far:

Addendum

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Demi

MAY 21 2020

I feel like absolute ass today. I don’t know if it’s something I ate or if it’s something that crawled up my butt, but I don’t feel so good about it either way.

Land

We’ve got 11 more days until we own the land free and clear. 11 days until we have more than just a pin on the map, we’ll have a whole chunk. It’s really quite exciting. We are being left a 40 foot “5th wheel” trailer on the land, which is great, because it means we’ll have something to live in, while we’re there on weekends doing work.

And boy is it going to be a lot of work.

Right from the start, we’ll have to dig post holes and plant beams to create an overhang for the trailer (a few little leaks that need to be covered, basically). We also need to establish a boundary fence along some of the property, mostly as a guide for ourselves to determine what we can and can’t build or play on.

From there, we eventually will need to mow the pasture, but because we will not have farm animals until we’re actually ready to live there, it means we’ll have to invest in a decent mower.

And that’s just sort of a phase 1 setup. Basically everything we need to make the place somewhat liveable. We already see at least a dozen things we can do to improve the land. Fixing the road, adding a gate, improving the seasonal pond and turning it into a permanent pond, etc. I’m just glad the place will already have power and water.

Poly

So new topic or category or whatever. Something I haven’t really mentioned (mostly because it didn’t really seem that relevant) was that my spouse and I have been sort of getting into the poly lifestyle. We don’t really have much experience and we don’t really have a full idea of what we’re doing, but the reason we’re so interested in it is because we feel that we have so much love between the two of us and we’d just like to share it with another person. We’ve sort of looked around a little bit, and we’ve been trying to find someone who could comfortably fit in our lifestyles, but it’s not every day that someone in the big city we live in just wants to uproot everything and move out to a farm some day.

I mean, sure, that is a classic stereotype. But it doesn’t seem very apparent in real life. I guess people enjoy the idea of quitting the hustle and bustle for the farm life, but I can’t imagine it’s extremely common to say “And I want to do it while getting involved in a poly love triangle!”

We actually met someone a little under a year ago, who was immediately open to friendship with us, was sort of a goofball like us, was funny and attractive and entertaining, but when we offered the idea that we would be interested in possibly pursuing a relationship, she expressed that she was demisexual and needed time to know us first. In the end, this was a good thing. It saved all of us a lot of trouble, because over time, though I’m sure it would have been really fun to date her, we were ultimately not really all that compatible in terms of our lifestyles.

And honestly, that’s okay. We’re not looking for someone to just have fun with and have sex with for a little bit and then move on. We’re almost 30, we’re looking for someone to love and cherish for the long haul, who cares about us just as much.

So, more recently, I met someone else online, who, purely by complete coincidence is also demisexual. This both excites me and scares me, if I’m to be quite honest. It’s nice because I can more easily recognize their needs, but also because, let’s face it, it takes genuine effort to make an emotional connection, from all points of view. You have to spend time with someone, you have to get to know them, you have to see if you have any form of compatibility. And if you don’t? Well, you’ve just invested a significant amount of time in just becoming friends with them. And if it does work out, and it is a genuine connection, it suggests that it’s likely that the relationship would last for a good long while. So great, at the very least, I’ve made a new friend. And I hope that works out.

I guess the scary part is just that, when trying to date someone with a “normal” (whatever that means) sexuality, you find out if you’re not compatible a lot sooner. I’m obviously not going to give up early, it’s just rough when you know it’s going to take a long time to find out if things will actually work out or not. But that’s okay. We just have to give things that time. And I need to reign in that line I sometimes have between “eager” and “pushy.” Ugh.

Furry Outpost

So I’ve actually started working on a new website called “Furry Outpost,” it’s going to be the central hub where most of my furry art / work gets posted. It’s still under construction, but you can take a look if you want. The first game I built is actually released there right now!

Oh right! I forgot to mention! I released a game! I took a complete left turn about a month ago and switched to a much simpler format, based on a completely random thought that popped into my mind on a complete whim.

So, yeah. Check out my first game, Yiff Strip Trivia on FurryOutpost.com.

Addendum

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Terra

APR 15 2020

I had a weird dream last night. The world ran on electricity. Not like, power lines and such, but plants, clouds, seasons, everything. It was all powered. It was terribly unstable, so I had to find a piece of technology called “the core” which would regulate everything. Or something like that.

Land

We got an accepted offer on a bit over 9 acres of land. We’re hoping, long term, to turn it into a homestead of sorts. About 4 acres for some small cattle action, and about 4 acres of woodland. It’ll be really a real challenge, especially at first (it doesn’t even have a house!) but it’ll be fun, I’m sure.

Long term, the ultimate goal is to move out there and detach from the rest of the world a bit. The internet, politics, none of that stuff should matter in the long term. It really shouldn’t matter now, but we all have to take it one step at a time.

Addendum

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Progression

APR 10 2020

I feel ambivalent about the past week or two. On one hand, I feel like so little has happened. The whole shelter-in-place order that we’ve been dealing with for the past few weeks has really made life feel like it is slowing to a crawl. The days blend into each other, weekends seem both constant and nonexistent, structure seems to have broken down. It’s strange.

What makes this weird is the fact that I already spend almost every day at home. I don’t have an office that I go to, I just work from here. Yet the fact that suddenly everyone else is around me all the time, people who would normally leave and return after a specific period, affects my sense of structure as well. And of course, I don’t “borrow the car” every once in a while to get stuff done anymore. Now, I just take it when I need it, which isn’t often.

It’s a strange feeling. I imagine others are experiencing similar confusion. I imagine books will be written about the period surrounding this time. Just right now, I see somebody walking their dog at 2pm, like I’ve seen countless times throughout the day almost every day, which is a rare occurrence for a weekday. And yet, I expect to see it continually until all of this is over.

Rabbits

Now, while I’ve had a rather obvious obsession with rabbits (at least to those who know me personally), I don’t have, nor have I ever actually had any pet rabbits. Many find this unusual, seeing as how I go by “Rabbit” online, I have a website called “Rabbit Outpost,” rabbits are my favorite animal, and when it comes to furry stuff, I’m always seeking rabbit-related content.

Truth be told, there have been two main reasons I’ve never had pet rabbits. For one, I’ve heard that they aren’t exactly the type of animal that enjoy being picked up and cuddled like a dog or a cat. But for two, rabbits require cooler temperatures than most animals. Which basically means that we’d be forced to keep indoor rabbits (outdoor rabbits are thing!), which we just do not have the space for. The heat here in Texas is unbearable for even the hardiest of hares, and the only rabbits that seem to survive these temperatures are the local cottontails. But they aren’t exactly a rabbit suited for being a pet.

Anyway, life circumstances have changed a fair bit, and as a result, this coming July, we’re going to have a completely empty room in our house. So, instead of cluttering it with garbage like we have tended to do in the past, we decided to turn it into a rabbit room! And on top of that, our plan is to get Flemish Giant rabbits. The rabbits will have a safe room to call their own, and by being giant rabbits, the cats won’t be able to harass them too much (our cats are 11-12 pounds, and Flemish Giants can reach upwards of 20).

Plus, from what I’ve been reading, Flemish Giants are also a bit more social, enjoying spending time just sitting in one’s lap. And frankly, I am very much looking forward to this.

Other Projects

So the game project I’m working on is going slow, but steady. The biggest issue I face right now is how goddamn long it takes to render just one image. It takes a good hour or so to render one good solid image. This is a problem. This suggests that at best, if I have 1000 images to render, I’ll be doing nothing but rendering images for 4 months, assuming I devote 8 hours a day to the rendering alone (I still have to position everything).

So I need to come up with something else to speed up the process. Maybe I can switch to Eevee rendering, but it’s not compatible with the environment I have so far.

Ugh.

Also, I’ve started a “Furry Philosophy” website. I have a vague idea of what I want to do with it, so stay tuned for that I guess. I’m going 100% fuzz, people.

Addendum

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Groceries

MAR 24 2020

So I’m standing outside an H-E-B right now. It’s about 7:20 in the morning, and I brought my laptop with me. I’ve been standing in this spot since 6:00, and I got here about about 5:30 or so. I am probably the only person here with a laptop, but everyone is on their phones, and a couple people are talking to each other.

None of this is relevant to anything, I just felt like documenting it. This is life right now. If you want toilet paper and flour, right now, you have to get to the grocery store early early early.

Thankfully, everyone is polite and kind. Probably because we’re at the front of the line and we all know we’ll get what we need. I only wonder what it’s like towards the back. Someone a few people behind me said when he was here on Friday last week, he got here at 8 oclock and the line was already about 300 people deep. And the store only lets 50 people in at a time. Oof ouch.

Script

As of about 10 minutes ago, I finished writing the script for the project. At least one iteration of the script, since I have to have several branching stories, but I really wanted to complete at least one version of the game in it’s entirety so I can start creating content for it, and branch off from there.

I’ve come to find that I have a lot of content that I want to add to the story, but the more I write, the more script I create, the more I realize just how much work it would be to add everything I want to add. And for that matter, it would probably take up a lot of space.

In any case, I’m happy I’ve reached a milestone of sorts. Now I just need to get home and start creating images from the script.

Coronavirus

So things are really ramping up out here, as far as I can tell. Word just came down that today, our mayor is going to announce shelter-in-place restrictions for our city. Which basically means we’re not allowed to leave our homes other than to get groceries, go to necessary medical appointments, go to work if it’s essential to society, or go outside for a walk as long as we’re staying away from other people.

I’m sure there’s a few more small things we can do, but ultimately, everything is closing down. Businesses that are not essential to human survival, big and small, are all forced to close. I’m lucky my wife is allowed to work from home, and a friend of ours is with a company kind enough to pay their employees despite having them all stay home.

But my concern is that there are so many people right now that do not have these same privileges. So many workers have been laid off, so far. A restaurant chain in our town that has 10 locations had to lay off 700 workers for the time being. And that’s just one restaurant in this one city. Multiply that across so many cities in the country (the world!) and you’ve got a lot of people who are going to go broke and possibly hungry. It’s extraordinarily concerning. Some of these people may take drastic measures to secure their livelihood, and you can’t really blame them for it.

On top of that, we were already headed for a recession, but this whole mess is likely going to turn it into the worst depression this planet has ever faced. We’re all going to feel it, I imagine.

Anyway, I’d like to keep rambling but there’s only 20 minutes left until this store starts letting people in and I need to organize my grocery list.

Addendum

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Virus

MAR 19 2020

So, I haven’t posted much in quite a while. Things have been… busy.

I took a short-term break from the project, only to return to it in rather full force in more recent times. Unfortunately, I don’t have much to show for it because most of it was on the technical or outlining side, instead of the usual 3D side.

In fairness, I have done a fair amount of 3D work in the background as well, I just don’t really have anything I’m ready to present for the moment.

Coronavirus

Okay, so at the time I’m writing this, it’s been Coronavirus this, Coronavirus that, just, all the time. It’s had a rather profound effect on the world, country, etc etc. Whatever. It’s a thing. I’m stuck at home, there’s little to do, but I guess the bright side is the fact that I already do most of my work from home anyway, so it’s really no big deal.

But I’d be lying if I didn’t say it feels different. Now that my wife and one of her coworkers are here all day every day, it feels a bit… stuffy, in a manner of speaking. I mean literally, sure, because there’s more of us in the house than usual for longer than usual, and we have to keep the windows closed because it’s also super humid outside.

I’m mostly worried about friends and family. Being stuck inside is going to send a lot of people stir crazy. I only feel fortunate in that everyone I know directly still has their job, so I don’t have to worry too much about them in that sense, but it is still unfortunate for everyone else that has lost their only income and doesn’t know what the future holds.

I’m not sure who is actually reading this, but I felt there was some pertinence to making some kind of statement, for anyone who happens to care what is going on.

Addendum

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Island

OCT 11 2019

Wolfpine

I’ve made some progress. I have a functioning island now. Here’s a quick snapshot.

I’ve also created a flowchart to sort of outline all of the choices in the game. I’d preview that but it has a lot of spoilers and it’s ultimately irrelevant to the final product.

Addendum

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