What is Demisexuality?

So, because I’ve seen a lot of people confused by what demisexuality actually is (and apparently firefox thinks it’s a misspelling of bisexual), here’s a quick rundown.

If someone is demisexual they will not find someone sexually attractive unless they make a strong emotional connection.

Okay, so, simple, right? No? Yeah, that figures. Half the time when I explain this to someone they say something like, “so, like a normal relationship? Wanting to get to know someone first? Wanting to make a connection? Not being shallow?” No, not quite.

Imagine being physically blind. You can not see someone. You can only talk to them. Hear about their lifestyle. Listen to their words. You have no idea what they look like, so you have no idea how attractive they are. Only after spending time about them, and learning about them, and establishing a connection to them, do you finally start to feel attracted, sexually, to them.

That is, in a really crude comparison, demisexuality. Instead of being physically blind, a demisexual is someone who needs time and connection to establish sexual attraction.

If you still don’t really understand it, just use google, and read through some shit. If someone denies you because they’re demisexual, it’s not a convenient excuse, it’s just that they literally can’t be attracted to you unless they know you, probably for a while, and truly make a personal connection with you. And even then, you still might just be friends.